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I am a high school English teacher in an urban high school in Oklahoma City. I am a member of the American Federation of Teachers, Local 2309. I am a Democrat, a union activist and a worker for social justice. I also am a Christian (Congregationalist). I play chess and coach our school chess team.

Friday, February 03, 2006

George Bush Joke

(But, as Mark Twain would put it, I repeat myself)

Poor George W. Bush couldn’t get anything to go right for him. First, George decided to become a big oil man just like all of the other Texans who were his family’s friends. So first he formed Arbusto Energy and got his friends to pour $3 million of their hard earned money to back him. But it all went bust. Then he got his buddy from college Philip Uzielli to give him another $1 million, but that soon went the way of the other dollars. Then Major League Baseball commissioner Peter Ueberroth convinced a bunch of his friends to buy the Texas Rangers for George. They even let George put his picture on a baseball card just like the real big leaguers. George traded away Sammy Sosa, and the Texas Rangers played like, well the Texas Rangers.

So George’s friends got him elected governor of Texas, and after he nearly bankrupted that state, he ran for president becoming one of three men in history to become president even though he came in 2nd in the balloting. It helped that he had 5 very good friends with the title “Justice” in front of their names.

George thought he was set for life, but then things went wrong again. He started a war in Iraq in March 2003 that he thought would be over by Christmas. We are still fighting it 3 Christmases later. He thought the people of Iraq would throw flowers in the path of the soldiers. Instead, they threw bombs and now over 2000 of them have died. He thought that oil revenues from Iraq would pay for the war. Instead, energy prices have sky-rocketed and the war has cost nearly a trillion dollars of US tax money.

Then his friends let him down. His friends in the energy business turned out to be cheating bastards. His friend Tom DeLay was arrested for taking bribes. He appointed friends who bungled their response to natural disasters. Finally, popular opinion held him to be lower than an armadillo’s ass.

One day, Bush knelt down on his knees and asked his Maker, why? “Why Lord? Why is the Iraq war going so badly? Why is there no end in sight to the bloodshed and the huge cost? Why are my friends turning out to be such incompetent idiots or outright crooks? Why are there so many natural disasters? Why do we look like the Three Stooges when we respond to them? Why Lord why? What do you have against me?

George then heard a voice as if from heaven above say to him, “Son, there is just something about you that really pisses me off!”

1 comment:

Rhiannon said...

Well said so true and very good! I just about screamed when Bush said during the state of the union address"we are addicted to oil and need to find other renewable resources"! I just wanted to scream because during both of his elections he mocked Gore and Kerry for saying something very similiar and Cheney has said many times "we are reliant on oil and always will be thats just the way it is deal with it"! I wonder where are the investigative reporters to do their jobs and look up and find all those old quotes and statements in the past by George W. Bush putting Gore down for saying things like "we need to stop being dependent on oil and beholden to other countries because of it" or not responding to people like Gore (who even wrote a book about energy alternativites years ago)when they made these same statements years ago? I guess it wasn't popular in those days and look who won the election! I find myself just watching Bush say one thing do another do one thing say another its like from one minute to the next you never know what he is going to say..can't believe a word of it not one word. Except for "oil" he was raised on it and suddenly he is saying "we are addicted to oil"..well welcome to reality George Bush!..he is only saying what he thinks people want to hear..it means nothing..nothing..he is the worse president in eons and will go down in history as the "biggest liar and propaganda president" of our time..dictator George he can do whatever the heck he wants but others can never offend him or they "Must apologize"..he never does..oooh you got me started..sorry..I'm just so fed up with this man and how naive so many people have been by voting for him out of fear of changing the guard during time of war. We are paying for that mistake tenfold. I didn't vote for him and when he won first time I said "uh oh big trouble here"!..and when he won second time (did he ever really win either, he loses the debates with Kerry but wins the president???)what goes around comes around and I hope and pray for this man to "Stop the Insanity" his "Insanity" soon! This man really scares me he always has he is so immature and lacking in common sense skills and communication..there is something wrong really wrong with him, well maybe its Rove feeding his "brain" at how wonderful and how powerful he is..ego..

Thanks for sharing..good joke..