National Pun Day is March 4th!

This is a very good pun from "Pearls Before Swine" a cartoon by Stephen Pastis (a very incorrigible punster)

Is Anyone Else Celebrating National Pun Day?

I've been doing National Pun Day for about 3 or 4 years now. Since I've been blogging about it, I have gotten several "hits" from those using the title "National Pun Day" as a search term.

I am curious, is anyone out there celebrating National Pun Day? I would like to see the date become something of a recognized occasion much as "Talk Like a Pirate Day" (September 19) became more or less nationally recognized.

So if you are doing something for NPD, let me know, or if you have ideas on how this celebration of word play could be celebrated, please write me. You can use the "Comments" section or send me an e-mail at greenlynn@hotmail.com.

Welcome to National Pun Day: 50 Swifties

Disarmingly Beautiful
Today is National Pun Day. One of my favorite types of puns are called "Tom Swifties." These are puns where the eponymous Tom makes a statement in a manner that is linked to the statement. In other words, the adverb used in the statement's speaker tags, the "Tom said" part, has a connection to what Tom said. For example: "Venus de Milo is a beautiful statue," Tom said disarmingly.Here are 49 other Tom Swifties:

"I've had my left and right ventricles removed," Tom said half-heartedly.
"I think my tires are bald," Tom said warily.
"I hate milking cows," Tom uttered.
"I put all my money into an IRA," Tom said interestedly.
"I don't think that leprechaun is telling the truth," Tom implied.
"I think that wasp is in pain," Tom bemoaned.
"I took out the trash," Tom said literally.
"This dinner is made from young calves," Tom revealed.
"I cut my dog's toenails too far," Tom said quickly.
"You're burning the candle at both ends," Tom said wickedly.
"I hope I can still play the guitar," Tom fretted.
"I feel like a big black bird," Tom crowed.
"My tongue feels numb," Tom said distastefully.
"I want to renew my membership," Tom rejoined.
"My grape juice has fermented," Tom whined.
"Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes," Tom said sheepishly.
"Stop your sniveling," Tom decried.
"Someone removed all the twos from this deck," Tom deduced.
"I just love power failures," Tom said delightfully.
"It's 3 a.m.," Tom said mournfully.
"Thanks for shredding the cheese," Tom said gratefully.
"I love Velveeta," Tom said craftily.
"It's two, two, two mints in one," Tom said certainly.
"Who was pope before John Paul I?" Tom asked piously.
"The river has gotten rough," Tom said rapidly.
"You can't go faster than the speed of sound," Tom said mockingly.
"I'm as busy as a bee," Tom droned.
"Those ants will never get in here," Tom said defiantly.
"Please put some folds in these trousers," Tom pleaded.
"Why do you want me to act like Gilda Radner's husband?" Tom asked bewilderingly.
"I have plenty of do's but no don'ts," Tom said dauntlessly.
"I have forgotten the german word for 'four'" Tom said fearlessly.
"Someone stole my wheels," Tom said tirelessly.
"Hallelujah," Tom said handily.
"I just won 1000 dollars," Tom said grandly.
"All that's left are the front and back," Tom said decidedly.
"Where can I find a copper figure of Lincoln?" Tom asked innocently.
"I only have 8 bits," Tom said bitingly.
"My sign is cancer, what's my horoscope?" Tom asked crabbily.
"What's in the middle of an egg?" Tom asked eccentrically.
"I'm covered in blood," Tom said readily.
"I've found the pens used to sign the civil war surrender," Tom said pensively.
"I think someone electrified the corridor," Tom said haltingly.
"There are tiny bugs in the dust," Tom said mightily.
"Hey, Vern! Knowhutimean?" Tom said earnestly.
"I unclogged the kitchen sink with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succintly.
"My clothes are pressed," Tom said ironically.
"What's that reddish stuff on the cannon?" Tom asked rusticly.
"How come my clock only makes 'toc's?" Tom asked mystically.

National Pun Day is Tomorrow!

Top Secret
Tomorrow is March 4th, which I have designated "National Pun Day."

The reason why I chose this day was that the date is itself a pun. In fact, it is the answer to a riddle I learned as a child: What is the date that soldiers hate the most? (Just say the date above out loud and you will get it.)

So tomorrow, we will play with homophones, word puzzles, visual puns, and other language games.

I have prizes for students who participate. I hope to increase their love of language.

National Pun Day is March 4th!

Frank and Earnest by Thaves

National Pun Day is only a month away! Time to play with language and get punning!

Here is a pun from one of my favorite source for great puns!

National Pun Day a Success!

We had some fun with our National Pun Day. Students, of course, mainly were interested in the "rewards" I had (small bags of chips and candy bars), but when I told them the rules for winning the rewards, they gave it there best.

The best pun I got was, "What do you call a deer with no eyes?" Answer: No Eye Deer!

I plan to do National Pun Day again next year. I am trying to make this a farce of habit!

More Puns for National Pun Day!

Palm Pilot
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
Taste funny to you?"

8. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I have given you 10 puns in hopes that one has made you smile, but if not, the "NO PUN IN TEN DID!"

Happy National Pun Day!

Pool Table
Tap Dancers
Happy National Pun Day. "Metaphors be with you!"

Here are some more Homophone puns. What do you call a(n)?
1. braver rock
2. hurled royal chair
3. sugary collection of rooms
4. rowing team's ship tour
5. conceited blood channel
6. window glass agony
7. grieving at dawn
8. single animating essence
9. boarder gossip
10. solar's offsprings
11. catcalls for alcohol
12. mansion's etiquette
13. stick for roasting beef
14. first day ice cream treat
15. officer's seeds
16. maculine postal items
17. male float
18. medieval darkness
19. inactive false god
20. prognosticator's gain
I gave 100 of these to my students. The ones who get at least 25 right, get a prize.

What Do You Call A Naked Grizzly?

OK Centennial High School students will participating in our 1st Annual (we hope) "National Pun Day Contest".

One part of the contest will be to try to figure out "Homophone Puns" from clues like the one above. The list is taken from Richard Lederer's book Get Thee to a Punnery published by Wyrick.

How many of these can you figure out? All of them are "homophone puns" or two words that sound the same but have different meanings and usually different spellings. The answer will be on the "Comments" page.

What do you call a(n):

1. female deer sleep

2. insect relative

3. rabbit fur

4. tiresome pig

5. line of fish eggs

6. appendage story

7. wildcat's chain parts

8. ostracized poet

9. spun globe

10. rogue's section of a church

BTW, you call a Naked Grizzly, a "Bare Bear," of course.

National Pun Day is March 4

Cathedral of Notre Dame, Paris

Quasimodo Replacement

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous.

"You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked. "Who is this man?"

"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

National Pun Day is Coming!

Frank and Ernest by Thaves
Graffiti by Gene Mora

March 4

National Pun Day is Coming!

Frank and Ernest by Thaves

March 4

National Pun Day Is Coming!

Grand Avenue
Frank and Ernest

March 4th